About Me
- Valued Jewels
- I'm a woman who is finally coming into her own. It's amazing to feel valued at long last. I'm also a woman who is a self-taught web designer. Most of my website design will center around flash templates, blog templates, and templates for sites that use Joomla, drupal, and DotNetNuke. Email me for more information.
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December 22, 2010
OMG IT'S HUGE!
2:44 AM | 
Posted by
Valued Jewels
I ordered a new computer last week with some unexpected funds that arrived. Last Friday the cpu part of my new computer arrived, and while it was super fast, and absolutely amazing, all I had was an ancient 50 pound small desktop monitor to enjoy it with. Well right as I was leaving for work last night, the monitor arrived, so I had to spend all night at work fidgeting because I just wanted to get home to see it. So when I was finally released from work, I raced home as quickly as I legally could, and opened up the box.
IT'S HUGE!!!
I honestly had no idea what size an 18.5" flat screen monitor would be, but I was STUNNED by its size. Can you tell??? At any rate, I just had to go somewhere to splatter my excitement, and this seemed like the perfect place. Don't mind the expression of sheer surprise on my face. I'll calm down, eventually.
IT'S HUGE!!!
I honestly had no idea what size an 18.5" flat screen monitor would be, but I was STUNNED by its size. Can you tell??? At any rate, I just had to go somewhere to splatter my excitement, and this seemed like the perfect place. Don't mind the expression of sheer surprise on my face. I'll calm down, eventually.
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December 19, 2010
To god or not to god?
I've come to a new place in my understanding of god. I was angry for a time, and now that I'm past my anger, I can define more clearly what my stance is on god. You'll notice, I'm sure, that I'm not using a capital g when I type god, because that is a sign of respect, and distinction, which I no longer feel I have to make. I'm mostly making this post so that my friends can get an idea of where I'm at on this issue.
The truth of the matter is that I thought I was angry at god for not doing the things in my life that I thought god ought to. However, I realize now that's not the case. You see, I had believed as a christian that god loved us and did all things for our benefit due to that love. So based on that belief, I expected god to act as if it loved me and did things for my benefit. I think that after the 10 years I seriously devoted to this concept of god, I had a right to have expected something to show for it. I think that's fair. I mean, in our relationships with other people, we expect something to show for it within the first couple years. Why then should we expect less of a god?
Here's where the disconnect comes in. I had to realize that these expectations were ones I was taught by the religion of christianity. But the real question is, how do we know that god feels anything towards us at all? For all we know, god did create us, but then when god was finished, god went on to work on other projects. I think that as the social creatures that we are, we'd like to believe that there's some higher power out there that intervenes for us when we behave in a proper manner. But just because that's what we want or need to believe, that doesn't also mean that it's true.
So I've reached a place where I'm not so much angered by a god, but angered by the concept of god that I was expected to believe was the genuine article. I hope that in my new state of awareness, as it were, that I am ever mindful to ensure that I don't say something that would insult my friends who are believers in god. This post is not only an explanation, but a means of apology, if during this mental transition, I've said some things that might have hurt those of you who spend time praying for me, I hope you will forgive me. It will never be my intent to throw my religious opinions in your face as some type of insult or stab at your personal faith in whatever god you so choose. Those of you who are my friends, or are people that I love so dearly, are such to me, because of every facet of your life and your personality, and I wouldn't want any of you to change a tiny bit for me.
And that's all I have to say about that. :)
December 14, 2010
All I Need To Be
So at my new job, I get to sit at a keyboard, and feed the computer the information it asks for. This also means that I get to take my mp3 player with me and listen to my music. Tonight while I was there, I had the group Fireflight selected to play, since I have a good amount of their music, and I was touched by the song off their For Those That Wait album called All I Need To Be. This song just says everything about what the love of an amazing man has done for me. I know that this is supposed to be a song about God, but unfortunately for God, he's not ever come close to making me feel the way this man does. You'll find the lyrics underneath the video. Enjoy.
Hoping with each new day
I'm moving forward, I push the fear away
And I let go
'Cause I'm so through with barely hanging on
Leaving what's in the past behind
I come closer to crossing over the line
And I won't stop
Until I get what I've been fighting for
You've said it all before
Tell me again that I am strong
Tell me again that I won't fall
I need you here to fix me where I'm wrong
Take me beyond what I can see
Break me, make me believe
You have made me all I need to be
Knowing all that I can do is be open when you start to move
In my heart
And now my god, I finally hear your voice
You've said it all before
Who I am is all I've got
And I can't be who I am not anymore
(I am strong, make me believe)
You have made me all I need to be
(I am strong, make me believe, make me believe)
Hoping with each new day
I'm moving forward, I push the fear away
And I let go
'Cause I'm so through with barely hanging on
Leaving what's in the past behind
I come closer to crossing over the line
And I won't stop
Until I get what I've been fighting for
You've said it all before
Tell me again that I am strong
Tell me again that I won't fall
I need you here to fix me where I'm wrong
Take me beyond what I can see
Break me, make me believe
You have made me all I need to be
Knowing all that I can do is be open when you start to move
In my heart
And now my god, I finally hear your voice
You've said it all before
Who I am is all I've got
And I can't be who I am not anymore
(I am strong, make me believe)
You have made me all I need to be
(I am strong, make me believe, make me believe)
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